You Know, Guy Stuff
by Hassawassa
Summary: After being caught up in a reckless gambling situation, Weir questions Sheppard's dependability, so she requests a little proof and a little written treatment.(Complete)
1. Just, a Little Experiment

**Title:** You Know, Guy Stuff.  
**Summary:** Another day, another dollar if not more in Sheppard's pocket. This is what happens on an off day in the city, strange things take place when the boys of Atlantis get together and the gambling bug starts biting.  
**Disclaimer:** As with all these fics, I own nothing of Stargate Atlantis, nor any of its characters. I also own nothing of Nintendo nor one of its more famous games mentioned in this story.  
**A Brief Warning: **This story includes mild swearing and alcohol consumption.  
**A/N:** I had this idea, thought it might be an amusing little one-shot. Somewhat a day in the life of our lads in Atlantis, something they might do with too much time on their hands. Also, a good excuse to mock McKay and mmmm. . . . mini pretzels. Hehe. Enjoy.

* * *

"Wait, how many cases do you have?" John Sheppard stopped suddenly, turning back to catch the puzzled look from his second in command, Aiden Ford.

The young lieutenant was about to reply when he looked down to the long rectangular boxes made of heavy-duty, hard, black plastic, which he carried under each curled arm, giving them a quick mental count before glancing back up to Sheppard. "Ah, four. You?"

"Three---you think that'll be enough?" Narrowing his eyes in thought, John shifted the cases under his own arms as they dug slightly into his flesh. All this sneaking around had gotten him quite sweaty so he had removed his coat and had flung it over his shoulder. Perhaps it was all the excitement of getting possibly getting caught. It reminded him of the feeling he use to get back in high school when John use to pull the fire alarms to skip out on a test. That rush.

"I don't see why not." Shrugged Aiden, trying not to drop the cases he held, finding his grip on them beginning to slip a bit. "But if I don't put these down soon, I'm gonna drop'em sir."

Sheppard gave the young man a knowing smile as he nodded in the direction of a door that lead to one of the many balconies that scattered the city.

Ford followed quickly behind him when out of no where, a voice came, directed at them and sounding awfully familiar. "Ah, what the hell are you guys doing?" Aiden paused, sighing as he watched Sheppard turn to his left, the Major unable to hide his irritation at being caught, especially by _him_ of all people.

John knew the minute that he heard that voice, prying, sarcastic, and overly obnoxious in his humble opinion, that Rodney McKay must have been nearby. He could even sometimes hear it before the man had even entered the same room, announcing his coming like a plague. Like the faint flutter of locus wings.

McKay must have just come from the kitchens for his jacket was wide open –to which Sheppard was expecting the man's pants to be unbutton as well, McKay did eat like a man ten times his size- and he carried black mug of what smelled like coffee in one hand, and a glazed donut with multicolored sprinkles in the other. John could even see the trace shine of glaze in the corner of the physicist's mouth as he frowned disapprovingly at the two soldiers caught red handed in doing some, irresponsible.

Rodney looked both Sheppard and Ford over, cocking a brow as he asked suspiciously. "What are guys doing with those cds---wait, you're not _stealing_ them are you?" He'd recognized the cases that the Major and the young Lieutenant were holding, in fact, he knew them very well because they were from _his_ lab. "And, those are _mine_!" He pointed a shiny glazed finger, donut in hand while his eyes went wide and wild.

"No!" John hissed, glancing around to see if anyone else was in the general area, wishing Rodney would keep his voice down, though in all truth, he was in fact right. " Now---now we're just, ----_borrowing_ them." He replied lamely, jerking the cases under his arms, the jabbing from before becoming more and more uncomfortable.

McKay winced up his face, finding the Major's answer completely absurd. What would Sheppard need with cds especially that many, each case on its own held about two hundred compact disks, and glancing over each of them now, saw at least, seven cases. "Ah, borrowing them, _for what_?"

"A little, experiment." Spoke up Aiden, catching a glance from John as if to say 'don't you dare tell him for what'. He cleared his throat staring down at his feet as a knot twisted in his stomach, he knew McKay wouldn't buy a single lie they put out, even he knew they looked too damn guilty.

"It's ah, just something we had a—ah—bet on." He said finally, swallowing hard when hearing John exhale angrily from his side. Yes, he could feel it now, the Major was going to kill him.

"And you need, twelve hundred cds for it?" Rodney took a sip of his coffee, finding this all too comical that he, and only he had busted Sheppard on something, finally.

"One thousand four hundred." John quickly corrected, watching McKay's frown deepen at being caught in the miscalculation. He tried to save face by shrugging, cases scraping against each other with a creak. "Just, a lucky guess. And besides, we've got plenty, I'm sure they're, _you're_, not gonna miss, a case or two."

"Sure." McKay snapped back, he hated when the Major did that. "And does, Dr. Weir know about you're little, bet?" He grinned, sipping at his coffee once more, putting the pressure on John with the threat of a possible, ratting-out.

Sheppard drew up his mouth, nodding, this didn't surprise him in the least, he glared back to Rodney then, sounding almost disgusted. "What do you think---"

"No, she doesn't." Ford cut in suddenly, taking a few steps towards McKay, looking to him in the most sincere expression he could, trying to reason with the physicist before this bad situation got any worse. "But, maybe we can strike up a little deal."

Rodney chuckled, finding this all too rich. "You---want to make a deal-----with me?"

"We want to make deal with him?" Asked Sheppard, looking at his second in command like he was nuts, finding this far too confusing, and wondering just then what the Lieutenant had in mind.

"Yeah." Ford shot a glance to John, licking at his lips before he turned back to McKay. He drew his voice down low, leaning in closer to Rodney who, finding this matter strangely intriguing, leaned in a bit himself, taking a bite of his donut and chewed it intently, waiting for Aiden to continue.

"How about, you keep this all on the down-low, and we'll---" He nodded his head towards Sheppard. "Let you in on the bet."

"You're kidding right?" John snorted, rolling his eyes.

"For once, we agree---" Rodney gave the Major a smirk. "You have to be joking." He directed this back at Ford.

Aiden let out a huffing breath as he tried his best to tempt the physicist with an offer. "Come on, it's for money. I'm sure even you wouldn't mind a few more green lining your pocket?"

"That's not the point---you two are pilfering government owned goods------what's the bet anyway?" McKay asked suddenly after, not sure why he did so in the first place, perhaps the aspect of money peeked his interest more then any guilt in shtooping-over the military.

Ford laughed lightly, comparing the conversation to a fishing trip, you only had to offer a juicy enough worm to hook a fish. "We, well, Major Sheppard bet me that I couldn't hit twenty moving targets in a row. I said he couldn't do it either, so, we're testing out the theory. I'm sure an _esteemed_ scientist such as yourself couldn't snub a simple experiment between two men?"

"Oh I think he can get quite snubby." Commented Sheppard flatly, seeing the expression on McKay's face unchanged. He knew this wouldn't work, no one could tempt Rodney unless they were waving an Ancient whosey-whatsit in front of the man's face. And now McKay was going to run off, thinking himself all superior to Weir and bust them both. John really didn't want to get court-martialed for something as stupid as stealing cds. If he was going to be arrested, it might at least be for something less, silly, and not by freaking Rodney of all people.

McKay thought the statement over for a moment, slurping loudly at his coffee before he scoffed. " Nice try. Big ol' _E_ for effort but I'm not dumb enough to fall for a bribe, nor low enough to except it. You two boys just go on, have your little bet. I'm sure there's nothing more _important_ you should be doing instead, might as well leave it to us, professionals." Rodney quipped sourly as he turned his back to them both and began to walk off.

"Sorry." Sighed Ford as he looked back to John, thankful to see the Major wasn't mad, instead replying with a reassuring nod. "Eh, I told you he'd be snubby. Besides, old Roddy boy knows he couldn't do it anyway."

"Twenty bucks says you're wrong." Came Rodney, spinning on his toes as he sent a defiant glare at Sheppard, his fingers gripping tighter on his half-eaten donut.

A smile spread across Aiden's face, having a good idea that Sheppard had done that just to get McKay's goat, knowing that if the Major called Rodney's skills in to question, the physicist would bite. Hook, line, and sinker, he snickered to himself. All that was left was to gut him, of his money that is.

"You're on." Determined, Sheppard with a jerk of his chin, motioned towards the door as Rodney walked back up to them. "But you gotta get the door."

McKay complied, moving near the sensor to the door, placing his donut in his mouth as he waved a sticky, glazed hand of the glowing panel. John was surprised that it worked with the amount of junk on the physicist's hand. The door slid open, letting in the fresh ocean air as all three men walked out onto the open balcony, rolling seawaters just below them.

Thankful to finally put the cases down, Ford bent his arms in and out, feeling the strain in his muscles for holding the damn things for so long.

Sheppard did the same with a displeased grimace, pulling his gun from his back he placed it on top of the stacked cases he had dropped. "All right boys, twenty each in the pot, winner takes all, now ante up."

Each man checked their pockets as Aiden pulled off his hat holding it out for them to place the money inside as a neutral place of safekeeping. McKay shoved a hand in his pants pockets pulling out some loose change and a few crumpled bills, sorting through with sticky fingers he managed to locate a twenty bill and straighten it out, tossing it into Ford's hat. Sheppard followed suit, as Aiden placed the hat on the deck, dropping his own bet in with the others.

"Here's the rules to this little _experiment_ of ours." Sheppard emphasized, picking up his rifle from off the stack of cds and holding it up in front of his collogues. "This, is a gun."

"Thank you, I wouldn't have known." Grumbled McKay rolling his eyes as he leaned against the balcony rail, taking up his donut that he had rested on top of the coffee cup which sat on the deck beside Ford's cap.

"With the way you shoot, sometimes I wonder." Sheppard openly mocked, receiving a deathly glare from Rodney as he then ignored him and continued on. "We'll use it to fire on the targets and nothing else other then said targets, understand?"

Ford highly amused, nodded, McKay looked like he was about to object, finding the rule common sense and so, not needed. "Understand?!" John rose his voice staring at the physicist who backed down, mumbling what sounded like a yes.

"Good. Now, targets will be the cds, please, for the sake of this bet, limit your shot to one bullet per target. I'm thinking we'd probably should conserve ammo. Besides, in keeping with old Earth tradition it'll be more legit."

"The nature of the bet is this---"John continued as he was interrupted by a very impatient McKay. "Can we speed this up?"

"The NATURE of this bet is as follows---" Sheppard loudly spoke right over Rodney's unsurprisingly annoying comment. "Whoever reaches a total of twenty destroyed targets, in a row, will win the cash in the betting pool, are we all in agreement?"

Ford nodded with a smile, impressed with how professional his superior officer was being, when it came to money, it seemed John took things very seriously. Granted, he did take this bet seriously too, but in truth, Aiden was happier they were all just hanging out, doing something other then constantly working. He loved exploring and all, just a little downtime was much needed in his opinion. That, and he loved a bit of competition as the next man. "Yes sir." He said, making Sheppard turn his attention to the scowling physicist.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get this over with." McKay waved a dismissive hand, shoving the rest of his donut in his mouth, gnawing on it as he spoke with a packed mouth, sucking the glaze off his fingers. "Whoows---goimg firfst?"

"Well not you, Mr. Manners." Sheppard shook his head in contempt handing the gun to Ford. "Aiden here is the youngest, so, he'll go first."

"Thank you sir." Ford replied taking the rifle from him with a excited boyish smirk, he knew he had this bet in the bag.

"Come on, we're not doing any work here, call me John."

"Can I call you John?" Asked McKay, swallowing hard as he tried to get the chewed donut down his throat finding it way too dry, he reached on the deck for his cooling mug of coffee.

"No, McKay, you can call me Major." John smiled ruefully, as he took a seat on top of the cd cases, finding them surprisingly sturdy to support his weight, he mused with himself on how the military built everything---strong and long lasting.

"How exactly are we going to---get the cds airborne? Rodney asked, moving his hand upwards in a diagonal line towards the bright afternoon sky. Speaking as if the idea just suddenly dawned upon them, of course the first person to point out their downfall, much like he always seemed to do.

"DAMN." Sheppard spat, slapping his knee, looking to Ford. "I knew we forgot something. Might as well lay the things on the deck and shoot them."

"I didn't even think about that when we left the lab." Aiden's smile quickly faded, realizing their enormous blunder. Sheppard expected Rodney to come out with some snide remark on proper preparation for an 'experiment', but instead the man stood against the railing, looking as if he was in some serious contemplation.

"I Ah, think I might have an answer to our problems." McKay raised a finger to his lips, glancing round the deck as he thought to himself, tapping the finger a few times before he looked to John, who didn't reply to him, puzzled at just what the physicist was getting at. "I'll ah, be right back---" Rodney said quickly as he stalked off, re-entering the city. Sheppard and Ford watched him leave, shrugging to one another.

Within a few minutes of wait, Rodney returned carrying an armful of complex looking metal, wires, and bolts all massed together in one machine. Carefully, he set it on the deck, squatting down and positioning the device towards the deck railing, squinting his eyes in concentration. He held a hand out, not looking at nor commanding anyone in particular. "Cd please."

Ford gave an odd glance to Sheppard and opened one of the cases, sliding out a brand new cd, its surface shining in a rainbow of colors in the sunlight as he handed it to McKay. The physicist took it briskly, looking the cd over before he slipped it into a slot that was far wider then the cd and large enough for Rodney to fit a few fingers into.

Shifting back to sit on his rear, Rodney moved his hand over the strange device, pressing a few triangular shaped buttons on its side as the machine came buzzing to life. He paused then, glancing towards the sky's horizon as he pressed a large hexagonal shaped button towards the back of the device.

Suddenly there was a sharp whooshing sound like a hydraulic pump letting off a small burst of air, the cd shot out of the dark slot, flying away over the ocean where it caught the updrafts from the water below and wavered for a bit before dipping violently and falling into the rolling sea.

McKay grinned triumphantly as he gazed up to Sheppard, still looking baffled as to what just happened. Finding this would be the time for explanation, Rodney stood, hands on his hips as he took on a smug, glorious expression. "You see, I found this---" He pointed to the device at his feet. "In one of the storage compartments scattered round the city. I, I haven't really figured out exactly what it's for yet. But upon examining it, I kinda got a screwdriver _stuck_ inside and when I accidentally hit that button, kinda---shot the thing at one of my assistants."

"Was that the day Metcalf went to the infirmary with a busted jaw?" Ford remembered suddenly, thinking back on how their resident doctor, Carson Beckett cursed McKay out on being more careful with his research before he got someone killed. "Yeah Dr. Beckett was pretty angry about that one."

"Well---" McKay stammered over his words, trying to defend himself, thinking back on how the Scotsmen nearly busted his jaw for some smug comment Rodney made about Metcalf making a great catch with his teeth.

"Well, I think old Roddy-boy here has more then made up for that, little, accident. Wouldn't you say Aiden? I'm sure though it was, a shame, it did wield some positive results. For us at least. Hey do you think you can shoot off another one?" Sheppard asked gleefully, handing the physicist another cd.

McKay nodded elatedly as he loaded up the device once again, slipping the cd into the slot and standing back, John did so too, not wanting the cd to fly out and lob his head off. Rodney hit the same large button on the back of the machine and the disk went sailing into the air, hitting another draft as it sailed to the right then drifted off out of eyesight.

"I'll be damned. Good job McKay." Sheppard commended after watching the cd disappear into the water.

"I think we're in business." Ford laughed holding the rifle up as he set his sight on the sky above. McKay stepped into action, throwing open a nearby case as he loaded another cd into the Ancient contraption and waited ready at the button.

"Pull!" shouted Aiden, finger ready on the trigger as Rodney fired the disk, sending it into the air. Ford followed the cd, letting it get a few feet between the deck and itself before he opened fire, hitting the disk and shattering it into small glimmering pieces with a single shot.

Ford lowered the gun with a smile, looking over to Sheppard who nodded back to him, impressed with the hit.

"Well that's one." Aiden said, keeping tally, eyeing his cap full of money, which was good as his. He gave the ok for McKay to load up another disk. "Pull!" The cd took flight, Ford raising the rifle and taking aim as the winds caught the disk and sent it to the left, plunging it slightly. The Lieutenant compensated for the wind and followed the cd with his sight, firing with a direct hit. "And that's two---better say goodbye to your cash boys."

"Ah, that's only two, you still have eighteen more to go there buddy." Sheppard corrected him, from where he sat, knowing with the winds picking up the way they were, that each man had their work cut out for them. The cds were so light that the strong breezes caught them so easily, carrying the disks in various and unpredictable directions, making it hard to get a clean shot. As Ford rudely found out upon his seventh shot, missing the disk completely because it hit a sudden updraft, tossing it violently to the right before pitching it into the ocean.

"Ooo, that's gotta hurt. My turn." John laughed softly, standing up, seeing the disappointment on Aiden's face as the young man handed the gun to him.

Sheppard walked out onto the deck, holding the rifle up and aiming into the sky. "Now let me show you how it's really done." He waited a moment, centering himself, one eye shut, the other glued to the crosshairs of his sight. "Pull!" McKay complied, the cd was sent spinning into the sky as the Major followed it carefully, letting it sail farther then Ford had, watching the disk bow to and fro in the wind before he plugged it, shattering the disk. "See, you have to let the wind play with it a little, get a feel for the way the breezed is going to go, then anticipate it. Nothing to it." John smiled humbly.

"Ah, but you're still just one in, and I have six." Ford mused, watching Sheppard narrow his eyes, and straightened himself out to look even taller then he normally did.

"Them's fighten words!" John hollered, getting a laugh out of Aiden before he turned quickly back to the sea, raising the gun in one smooth fluid motion. "Pull!" He shouted, catching Rodney off guard who fumbled for a cd, placing it into the machine and punching the button at the back.

Sheppard followed the cd, his breathing calm, face at ease, like he could do this all day. He probably could, especially when there was money involved. The cd suddenly dipped low, being tossed to the right then spun back towards the left. John took the disk easily, clipping it right before it hit the water. Now he was getting cocky, which he knew quite possibly could lead to his downfall.

So, the next twelve disks were taken down in smooth brisk shots, John picking the shiny almost translucent cds as they hit the sun light breaking from the clouds one by one. Ford could feel that cash slipping through his fingers. McKay was simply getting aggravated that he hadn't had a chance to go yet, fearing the Major would win the whole bet right then and there.

"Oh that better not be that wretched machine from your lab McKay!" Came a thick brogue from behind the three men, making McKay fall backwards onto his rear as he accidentally hit the launch button on the device, casting the cd skyward. Sheppard, caught off guard by the comment, tried to knick the cd as it was hit by a strong gust of wind and launched upward. He lost sight of it in the glare of the sun, cursing softly, he lowered the rifle in defeat.

"No offence Dr. Beckett, but monsoons have better timing." John sighed mournfully, carefully yet harshly placing the gun back on the cd cases. He couldn't believe it, he had it, he so had it. He believed Rodney to be no contest, but Aiden was a crack shot, he'd make the next round for sure.

"Sorry to make you miss your shot Major, I was just looking for Dr. McKay here and someone said they spotted him one minute in the mess-hall, the next no where to be found. So I thought I'd check it out, make sure nothing was going on." Carson Beckett said regretfully, truly sorry he had caused John to mess up in whatever they were all doing out here. "And by the way, what _is_ going on?"

"Just, a little experiment." McKay grunted as he stood up, dusting off the back of his pants before he crossed the deck, heading for the rifle waiting for him.

"Experiment?" Beckett exclaimed growing a bit flustered. "With that? You know what happened the last time you----_experimented _with that bloody contraption, nearly cost Ray Metcalf four of his front teeth!"

"He shouldn't have been standing behind me." McKay shrugged acting as if he didn't think the incident was his fault at all, even though he turned his back to the doctor, cringing as he waited for the response. Rodney knew he was as guilty as Sheppard and Ford were for taking the cases of cds.

"Behind you?! Ray was halfway across the room behind you. It was that blasted thing you screwed with. Have you ever had to wire a jaw shut right after pulling out a two and a half inch screwdriver from someone's mouth? Aye?"

"Well, _when_ I win, Metcalf can have a quarter of my winnings." Rodney smirked taking up the long rifle. He was more use to the heavier guns they lugged with them on missions, or the compact handgun he usually carried on his side. This one was nice, sleek, heavy in all the right places. McKay ran a soothing hand over the coated wood, up and around the cool metal of the barrel.

"Hey! Would ya quit getting to second base with my gun and take your turn McKay!" Sheppard spoke up forcefully, shocked at the physicist's sudden gun lust. That and the rifle was a classic given to John by his dad when he was younger, it was one of his lesser know secret personal items he smuggled into the city. But no one need to know about the rest.

McKay flinched, nearly tossing the gun in the water, and even then John would have _tossed_ him in after it. Rodney raised the rifle getting his sight straight as Ford knelt down by the mysterious disk-hurling, screwdriver-shooting machine. "I load the disk in here right?" He asked, cd in hand.

"Yep, in the slot, hit the big ol-button in the back." McKay smiled thoughtfully, not taking his eye off the sight. Aiden complied as Beckett moved over and stood behind Sheppard, both men watching the physicist and noticing how uptight he was holding a gun. John was about to tell him to loosen up when Rodney suddenly yelled. "Pull!"

Ford launched the cd into the sky then, McKay following the cd with the crosshairs like a hawk, licking his lips as he moved his finger over the trigger, ah it felt all too right, bringing him back to when he was a kid, ah the simpler days. Within a few moments of silence mingled with the shrill wind, Rodney's body jerked back as he fired, catching the cd right in the middle and busting it into pieces.

He stood back, admiring his work as John let out a long impressed whistle. "I've gotta hand it to ya Skippy, that was a pretty sweet shot."

"And where, did you learn to shoot like that?" Beckett spoke up, equally impressed with the physicist's aim and skill with the rifle.

McKay beamed, looking at one man and then the other before he spoke, smugly. "Duck Hunt."

Sheppard shook his head seeming mystified. "Wait, you use to go duck hunting?"

"No, no. Duck Hunt. You know, the old Nintendo game. Orange and gray arcade gun and all that. I kept the highest score five years in a row in my hometown. I---was a legend in my youth." McKay said in a factual tone, basking in his secret success.

"You're meaning to tell me when you weren't building bombs for science fairs you were on your ass playing video games?" John remarked, honestly not surprised in the least.

"Well, one can't devote their whole existence to science. Besides, got me a medal too." Rodney smiled like he was a kid in the candy store, living it up. He knew he'd kick all their butts when it came to organized games, specially ones with time-based strategies.

"Figures…" John mumbled to himself, though secretly he was far too impressed with the man's skills to ever admit it. He might have more competition on the board then just Ford it seemed. "Wait---a--- minute----" Sheppard cut himself off suddenly, the narrow eyes of suspicion falling on McKay. "How come when you're on the field, you can't shoot worth spit? Have you been, faking?!"

"No." McKay retorted. "There's just a big difference between shooting a little harmless disk and firing at some raging alien who happens to be firing right back at you. This is more, relaxing. I can, let myself be one with the disk."

"You're gonna be one with my fist in a minute." Sheppard Grumbled, catching a look from Rodney who wasn't sure if he heard correctly what the Major said. "Just take your next shot alright?"

"Easy. Hey Carson you wanna get in on this? Twenty to play, that'll be a hundred to win if you do." McKay nodded towards Ford's cap that sat on the deck, a hint of green peaking over the rim.

"Eighty." Sheppard corrected pulling a small bag of mini pretzels from his coat pocket ripping the top open as a way to ignore Rodney's death glare. He just loved busting the man on calculations when the physicist was trying to be clever, it seemed doing so cause Rodney to mess up on the simplest of things. Pulling out a pretzel with two fingers, Sheppard tossed it into the air and caught it in his mouth chewing with a smug grin when he finally looked at McKay, who, was still giving him the twitching stare to end all twitching stares.

Beckett peeked at the money, shaking his head disappointedly. "Eh, a wee bit too rich for my fancy, but, I'll put down ten says the Major here takes your Duck medal and makes you eat it."

Wide-eyed and now, doubly insulted, McKay spun round, not even bothering to reply, he rose the gun up, flustered as tried to calm himself, not wanting to miss this shot, considering it was only his second one.

John chuckled warmly, clapping Carson on the shoulder as the man tossed a ten spot into the cap, standing back up with his hands in his pockets as he waited, remarking to Sheppard. "You better win that too, now my money's on the line."

"You got it doc." John replied with a grin watching McKay's back. That was just the motivation he needed.

"SHHHH!" Rodney hissed, irritated far beyond he could ever recall being. "I am _trying_, to concentrate!"

Sheppard raised his hands in defense, mini pretzel clutched between his fingers as he tossed it up, catching it again and munching loudly, making McKay's shoulders tighten up with every crunch. He then gave a nod to Aiden, the young lieutenant readying another cd.

"Pull!" Groused McKay as the disk was quickly airborne, catching a updraft and curling towards the sky. Wincing against the sun light, Rodney took aim and blasted the cd from existence. _Yep_, he thought, _just like Duck Hunt, except I don't have that obnoxious dog giggling at me when I miss_. He remembered how, out of frustration he would unload a few more shots at the 2D dog's image, though they really didn't do anything but make him feel better.

In the meantime, while McKay set up and took his next shot, picking off the cd with ease. Carson pointed to the bag of pretzels that John was holding. Shrugging, Sheppard held the bag up letting Beckett reach inside and pull a few out from within. They both chewed loudly together, John sitting, Beckett still standing, highly amused by how much it was bothering Rodney. Served him right for what he did to poor Ray Metcalf.

"Now all we need, is some beer." Remarked Carson sadly, feeling the salt drying out his throat and making him quite parched.

"You know. I was just thinking that!" Sheppard looked up at him with a touch of surprise.

"Must be the ATA gene you share!" Cried McKay, beyond frustration, as he whipped round glowering at the two men behind him. "Must be the same one that keeps making you interrupt me _every_—_single_---_time_ I try to shoot!"

Beckett shrugged his shoulders about to take another handful of pretzels when John leaned back and dug into his coat and produced another bag of them. " Thank you." He returned his attention to Rodney. "Which you also have, I might add, and you're doing quiet a bit of interrupting yourself there."

"NOT the point." McKay fumed clutching the gun in his hand as he took on the tight lipped expression of his when he was really starting to get ticked off.

"You know what?! I forfeit this turn." He growled and handed the gun to Ford as he stood. "Besides, I have to use the lavatory."

"Good, you can get the beer then." Carson clapped his hands together, now this was getting to be interesting. He just wished it wasn't cutting into his time back at the med-lab, hoping no one was waiting with anything serious. Then again, there were others there plenty qualified, let them take it over for a while. This was the first time in a long time, he'd been able to just sit back and have a good time for once.

"FINE!" Exclaimed McKay as he stalked off, smacking the door sensor with his palm.

"And wash your hands _before_ you get the beer!" Sheppard called after the physicist's fleeting image, finding this all too entertaining. "Well someone needs a cookie and a nap." The comment causing Carson to nearly choke on the pretzel he was chewing.

"Alright Aiden, you're up again, show us what you got." John smiled motioning towards his coat. "And if you do well, there's a bag of pretzels in it for ya."

"Where, might I ask did you acquire all these bags Major?" Carson inquired, crossing his arms over his chest as he took a seat on a stack of disk cases behind him.

"Well, I _kinda_ raided the mess-hall. But we're just borrowing them, honest." John nodded, trying to sound as sincere as he could muster without looking too guilty.

"Just like the cds" Ford added reloading the rifle after he checked inside, seeing they were already out of ammo.

"See." Sheppard waved a hand at his second in command, speaking with an almost tender tone, making it all seem like it was a moral and honorable thing to do. "This is all going to good use, in the name of science."

"Right. On Dr. Weir's order aye?" Beckett laughed deeply, pulling open his tiny bag of pretzels and partaking in the stolen contraband, strangely enough, making them taste just a touch better in his opinion.

By the time Ford hit his twelfth disk, tying him with John, all three men heard the door to the outer deck slide open and looked to see McKay return, pushing a hand cart on two wheels. The cart had something stacked on it, covered by a green vinyl tarp. Rodney, had a touch of sweat on his brow, watching the cart in strict concentration so he wouldn't lose control of it, not to mention the paranoia of getting caught with what was underneath it.

Coming up alongside where Beckett sat, McKay tipped the cart carefully forward, standing it upright. The physicist breathed a long sigh of relief at being back in one piece. Looking to his collogues, John gave him a irritated gaze.

"Well took you long enough, been nearly a half an hour and Aiden's already tied me."

Shaking his head, and brushing off the complaint, McKay went about the bounty of the difficult venture he had taken, releasing a few bungee cords that had the tarp fastened down, springing them and yanking the cover off. He stood by his plunder, proud and equally exhausted. "Ta-da." Rodney said flatly, motioning like a Price is Right girl to the newly revealed army issued plastic boxes, big ones stacked three high.

"Yay, boxes." Sheppard mused dryly. "We asked for beer McKay."

"Coolers." Rodney corrected, raising a finger as he turned to the cases and popped the metal latches on the top most one, opening it up. There was a haze of cold air floating like fog from inside as McKay reached in and produced a can of beer, tossing to John as the Major sat back down next to Beckett. Then one to Carson and Ford as well before he pulled a last one for himself, shutting the lid and clamping it down tight to keep the chill.

John scanned the can over in his hand, looking up at Rodney under his brows. "You did, wash your hands right?"

Beckett chuckled as he popped his beer open, taking a swig and nodding in approval. "Mmm, not bad. Not bad at all."

"Yes Major, I washed my hands, thank you very much" McKay replied with a scowl, plopping down on the deck as he pulled his can open. "You better appreciate this, I had a hell of a time getting it here. I almost went undetected before I passed Zelenka in the hallway with this thing. I told him it was alien equipment I was researching that was highly sensitive to light. Needless to say…"

"You suck at lying?" John smirked, holding his beer out from him, over the deck as he pulled the tab. He knew the toss from McKay to him would have caused some excess pressure in the can, which he was right in assuming. The beer sprayed slightly and then leveled out as the Major drank it back, licking his teeth. Yeah, not the best he had ever had, but it hit the spot especially since it was getting quite warm out there now what the sun was nearing its highest point.

"Well, yeah." Rodney shrugged in all honesty, taking a sip.

Ford set his beer aside after taking a drink, readying himself for his next round of shots whenever McKay was ready to load up the machine again, John had taken over while the physicist was away procuring liquor.

Seeing that he was in fact, needed, Rodney got back up with a grumble, shuffling over to the ancient technology that had saved their butts that day and got a disk from out of the nearby case, slipping it into the slotted space in the front of the machine, fingers gingerly resting over the button near the back.

"Whenever you're ready lieutenant."

"Miss it….missss it….missss it!" Chanted Sheppard softly before Beckett smacked him in the arm for being a poor player. Leave it to the doctor to play fair.

"Pull!" Shouted Aiden over his shoulder as McKay's finger jerked over the button, for some reason startled. Ford caught the cd just after it crossed over the deck. He felt then if he was going to make any leeway in the score between him and the Major, he'd have to play close to the belt. His efforts awarded him well pushing Ford into the lead with fifteen disks in total, John close behind with twelve and Rodney so far in last place it was silly to let the man have another go.

As Ford round on home with a seventeenth disk the winds picked up, trailing the clouds across the sun, drowning it out as below the waters crashed against the side of the city. Rodney sat cross-legged, head rested on a raised hand as he prodded the launch button once more, a scowl deeply written on his face. Aiden clipped another, making eighteen. Rodney let out a breath letting his lips vibrate over it feeling the bet was as good as over when suddenly he felt a sharp prick on his cheek. Finding it more shocking and cold then painful, McKay sat up with a start touching a hand to his face to then look at it, seeing nothing. He turned his attentions upward wondering what it was when something else dropped into his eye making him squeeze it shut.

"Ah-oww" The physicist said softly, rubbing it with a knuckle as he continued to look up, seeing the sky now laced in a mix of grays and blacks. A few more splats fell onto his face, followed by a low and growling rumble somewhere high above them all. "Great." He mumbled with a frown. "You just don't want me to succeed at anything do you?" Rodney questioned the heavens.

"Not a storm come on!" Sheppard shouted as he noticed the droplets forming on the balcony's surface, becoming more and more frequent.

Carson glanced upwards with the rest, feeling the cool splash of rain speckling his hot skin and clothing. "Ah just a little rain is all." He smiled, closing his eyes, it even felt good.

After he finished his very words it seemed the sky opened up and decided if it was going to storm, it was going to do it well, unleashing a sudden downpour. Ford made a dash for his cap, shoving money and all underneath his shirt to keep it dry.

Beckett hovered a hand over his beer to keep the rain out as he began laughing, catching the 'you just had to say it didn't you' look the Major was giving him before John sniggered along in the amusement of it all.

McKay pulled his jacket up over his head finding his little dry cave only a momentary solution to the rain as it came down in torrents, quickly soaking him though. "I ah, think we should head inside!" He shouted over the downpour.

"Oh, what made you think that McKay?" Sheppard yelled back, standing up as he saved what little pretzels he had left, rolling up the bag and jamming them into his pocket. He set to work, taking the rifle from Aiden and slinging it over his shoulder as the young lieutenant grabbed what he could, becoming blind by the rain.

Taking up a case or two in his arms, Carson made his way towards the balcony door, squinting his eyes to see through the storm as overhead, lighting began to break from the clouds, flashing brightly and making the sky tremor with its thunderous after-blasts.

Following in a soggy close kept line the boys slipped back inside, dripping water everywhere as they hurried into the main base, the Stargate only a few feet away.

Ford brushed himself off as John next to him shook his head vigorously, almost animal like, shaking the water from his hair. Each man tried to de-dampen before even realizing they were in fact, not alone in the gate room.

"Would you mind, telling me just what the hell is going on?" Came the demanding and authoritarian voice of Dr. Elizabeth Weir, she stood before them all, arms crossed over her chest, glaring.

McKay, still under his coat stuttered out an 'Uht-oh' before pulling the jacket off his head, he hadn't seen her there when trying to get the cart full of chilled beers back through the door, leaving the tarp outside because it was too much of a hassle to put it back on in the downpour. He'd also had stacked he disk-shooting device on top and had been trying to keep the rain off of it with the corner of his jacket. Slicking back his soaked and fuzzed up hair he laughed awkwardly. "Ah, well you see-----er---."

Weir cut him off then trying to drive her complete shock and infuriation to each man, making sure they knew clearly how much trouble they were. " I've gotten countless reports from people around Atlantis, saying they've been hearing gun-fire all day, I come to find that the mess hall is, _missing_ items, and that all four of you have been absent without notice."

"Technically---" Sheppard added with a raised finger. "We're all off duty, and being left to our own devices, chose to actually do something with our time."

Ignoring the comment she looked then to Carson, shaking her head in disappointment. "And Dr. Beckett. I expected more from you. Major Sheppard, you're my military head, leave or not you still all have a responsibility to this city. Dr. McKay?, all of you----you're soaked, what in God's name were you doing out there?!"

"Oh just---eating pretzels, drinking beers, shooting cds----you know, guy stuff." He replied Sheppard with a boyish grin and a slight shrug as he shook out his coat slinging it over his shoulder hiding the rifle underneath.

"Guy-stuff?" Weir cocked her head out, mouth slightly open, her eyes narrowing. "I think you're going to have to give me a better reason then that not to have you all _confined_. And, aren't those cd's from your lab Dr. McKay, did you steal those?" Weir turned to Rodney who flinched, swallowing hard as he looked everywhere but in her eyes.

"Well, y---yes they are. But, I allowed for us to, take---them." McKay stuttered.

"And the coolers, who gave you authorization to take those?" She asked sharply, turning her accusations to Sheppard then, finding him smiling softly back at her, his expression sunk as he cleared his throat.

"Those." John began, running a hand down the back of his wet, chilled neck. "We borrowed for a little, experiment, which as you can see got rained out, isn't that the darndest thing?"

Weir straighten up her back, filling her chest up with air and was looking about to tear John apart right there. Instead, she lowered her arms to her side, speaking to the Major in a controlled tone that signaled a quiet rage within the woman. Sheppard knew he was in deep now. "Major, I want to see you, in my office in thirty minutes. And please, put on some dry clothing. For the rest of you, put this stuff _back _where you found it. Is that understood?" With that, she took one last long glare at John before turning her back, stalking up the stares and heading towards her office.

"I think she just might be a bit, mad, don't you?" John sighed to Beckett who glanced up to him with a worried look. The doctor wondered briefly if he would see the Major in the infirmary after he met with Dr. Weir.

"It was nice knowing you." Carson smiled, patting Sheppard on the shoulder.

"Sir I should go with you, this was partly my fault to begin with." Aiden started when John raised a hand, silencing him.

"I'm the responsible one here, I, should have known better, If anyone is going to take one for the team, it's gonna be me, alright? Just help Dr. Beckett and McKay get this crap back to the lab. And ah, those beers back to my room----" Sheppard mused, motioning to the handcart with the coolers on it.

McKay was amazed by the Major's coolness with the situation, then again John handled most of the dire situations in a nonchalant manner. Rodney then wanted to say something to him but found the right words sounded all wrong. Instead he said this at Sheppard's departing back. "Hey, what about our bet? I mean, who won?"

Sheppard stopped on his way up the stairs, turning back as he jogged down the few he had just climbed. "Well, I guess since Ford had the most cds busted out of all of us, in theory he won."

Ford smiled thoughtfully, shaking his head. "No, you said it yourself whoever made it to twenty in a row would be the winner, I didn't complete the requirements, none of us did, so, no one won." He looked to the other two men standing on the sides of him, catching no objections from either.

"Look at you, being all sportsmen-like." John chuckled. "Alright, lets say, the bet had a weather delay so we'll postpone it for another time, in the mean time, all players will get back their money. Deal?"

"Works for me." Beckett chuckled as Aiden pulled out the hat full of money from under his shirt, each man pulling out the cash he'd previously placed within.

"Maybe even next time, I'll give it a whorl." Mused Carson pocketing his ten, sad that he hadn't seen John whoop McKay's butt like he'd hoped.

"See, now Rodney, that would make a hundred." Sheppard teased, taking his twenty from Ford's hat.

"Oh shut up." Snarled McKay as he crumpled up his bet and shoved it back in his pocket, taking hold of the handcart. "You just get ready for the reaming of your life. I still can't believe you're taking the fall for all of this."

"Yeah, John I mean, Weir looks pretty pissed." Aiden winched, knowing what a verbal lashing Sheppard was in store for and surprised at how well he was taking it.

Sheppard licked his lips shrugging as he thought about what might be to come. He knew it was going to be a long, long night. But it was worth it just to spend some quality time with his teammates, finding they were all becoming fast friends, even McKay. "Eh, comes with being so awesome I guess." He replied smugly, giving them a short wave as he headed back towards the stares and then to the right, so he could go to his living quarters and change.

"Come on Rodney, let's get this junk back before anyone else misses it." Beckett sighed, lifting two cd cases back into his arms carrying them like logs for a fire. McKay nodded silently, pushing the cart after Carson, strange alien device stacked with the coolers as he eyed it respectfully. He'd made out good with that.

Ford followed closely behind the two doctors, curling the rest of the cd cases under his arms much like earlier that day. Outside they could hear the rumbling of the thunder kicking up, feeling it within their bones. Should be quite a storm from what Ford could tell.

As they were leaving McKay spoke up, speaking bluntly. "Hey you don't think Sheppard will get court-martialed for this?"

Beckett glanced to him, shifting the cases in his arms as they made their slow and soggy way to the sector issued for the labs, leaving a long water trail behind them. "Oh, I think the Major can handle Dr. Weir."

"Good." Rodney smiled proudly. "Because I'm still going to win that bet."

"In your dreams McKay---"Ford grinned behind the physicist's back. "In your dreams." He caught the glare that McKay gave him over his shoulder, causing the young lieutenant to laugh aloud, Carson joining him. He thought that, even though John was probably going to be screamed at for a good couple of hours, he could get himself out of it smoothly, like he did most problems, so that was alright. And it felt so good to finally break away from the constant routine they faced everyday at the city. Spending some time with the boys was just what he needed, even if it did entitle theft. He regretted nothing after that, John wouldn't want him to anyway.

Ford smiled to himself, listening to Rodney go on about his game title while Beckett refused to acknowledge that it was an actual achievement. He wondered about the next time they would have such freedom, what laid in the days ahead. Either way, good or bad, Aiden was truly happy in that one moment, and he knew he'd remember that day always----thinking maybe he would give his winnings to Ray Metcalf as well, after all.

* * *

**A/N**: Hope you all got a kick out of that and I hope I kept everyone in character as much as possible. It was a blast to write. Don't be afraid to review, as always I love to hear from ya!!!

I'm thinking maybe if this goes well, I'll write a follow up one-shot with perhaps the meeting between Weir and Sheppard. I just enjoy writing John one-liners.


	2. A Small Request of Confirmation

**Chapter Two:** A Small Request of Confirmation

* * *

John took a quick glance at his watch as he stood outside Dr. Weir's office, to which the door was currently closed.

_Forty---five minutes.Sheppard_ thought brazenly making him smile; he'd actually been waiting there outside her door for quite a bit. It really hadn't taken him all that long to get back to his quarters, dry off and redress, it was just he just loved to push buttons. He was a natural button pusher, especially the ones attached to people. Those were his favorite ones, all different colors, shapes, and sizes. Sometimes it was very easy to find someone's buttons, they often let their emotions fly, and so button finding was just a matter of paying attention. Like McKay for example, John found his buttons easy as tying his bootlaces. Now Elizabeth Weir's buttons were a bit harder to find, like trying to seek said shoe in a pitch-black room. It took some time. _But__, time worth spending_, Sheppard agreed with himself.

Today, was field day! Screw sack races and that goofy egg spoon thing. This was touch football in the pouring rain good. He cracked the knuckles of his right hand with his thumb, carried an open, half eaten bag of mini pretzels in the other and prepared for his first offensive move.

The door knock.

Rapping a few times, he heard Weir clear her throat from within and requested him to come in. John doused his smile, she already knew it was him. That was a good defensive tactic in his most humble opinion. This, was going to be interesting.

John waved a hand over the door sensor as the metal panel slid to the side and he strolled in, one hand in his pocket now as he stopped in the center of a room, near a chair for visitors on the opposite side of Elizabeth's desk.

She was writing something down at the moment. Sheppard went so far as to crane his neck forward to see what exactly, but the doctor's hand writing was so damn small and neat he couldn't make it out from where he stood.

_Probably my permission for dismissal.He_ thought glumly. _Granted, it'd be Weir who would decide on something like that, the final word of sorts. Damn she was playing condemner and executioner. Not at all fair, I'll have to change that. _

His thought process ended as Dr. Weir turned that hard, take-no-crap glare she often adorned, more often then not when John had done something that irked her. Today, well irked might not be the word, because old Liz looked damn near pissed off. John at that point hoped he didn't get her button stuck. _Time to work some defensive plays, bring in the wit, slip in a bit of the Sheppard charm, yeah, game's in the bag----fifteen/zip._ Shifting his grin into a thoughtfully concerning look which almost said to the woman; 'gee doc, why so peeved?'

"You're late." Was all she said, staring at him intent on burning holes in his head with her eyes. John could already feel the heat. _Alright__ Johnny boy, we'll try the witty play. _

Sheppard shrugged casually, pulling the hand from his pocket as he spoke in a calm and collected voice, emphasizing all the right bits. "Well; what can I say? I'm spongy. Took me forever to get my hair like this. This shirt, needed ironing. And these pants, I had to pop down by the cleaners to pick them up, guy gave me such an attitude. Last time I go there. Mini pretzel?" John held the bag out to her with a boyish grin. _Eat my cuteness Weir. _

"Sit down." Weir replied shortly, her temper seeming un-flared yet not lessened in the least. John took this as a good thing, a run on yards a bit closer to the end zone, but not much of a gain either. Pulling the bag back with a crinkle he smoothly stepped to the side pulling the chair back and sitting himself down in one fluid motion. He took up a position of relaxation, his bag holding hand on the rest of the chair while the other tapped gently on the smooth wood of the other, legs spread out as if he were retiring in his own room. He had nothing to hide after all.

"So." He said slowly drawing his eyes away from Elizabeth's burning glare and around her office, noting how small it was. If he were running the city, he would have taken a bigger room for his office, something with a window, maybe a terrace to hit golf balls off of in the early morning hours. If he had any golf equipment that was, he didn't even really think he knew how to play either. _But__ if I did, I sure as hell would have! _

"Nice office you have here. I've like what you've done with the place. Simple in its complete austere, yet with that warm convivial feel. It's quite commendable." He popped a pretzel in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully, pouring the snarky talk he'd ripped off McKay, he knew the physicist was good for one thing at least.

"Let's stick to the point of why you're here Major."

_Wooo__, more then two word replies, now I'm getting somewhere. Score one for the Major, stadium goes wild---Shep-pard…Shep-pard…Shep-pard. I can hear them chanting in the stands now._

"Sheppard!" Weir shouted. John whipped his head back round to look at her. Had he been staring off somewhere? She must have said something else, asked him something while he was lost in his stupid fantasy. Damn, he was so on the ball too. Quickly he rolled up the top of his little snack bag and tucked it away in one of the many pockets that littered his pants.

"I was just, contemplating what you said." He watched her expression carefully. "Asked…" John tried again, oh! There was a brow raise; it was like playing hot cold with this woman. _Now I'm getting warmer. _

Weir placed her pen down and folded her hands on her desk maintaining her dead-serious tone. "And?"

Sheppard shifted in his seat, starting to feel a touch uncomfortable. He thought then that most questions are typically yes or no ones so, he had a fifty/fifty chance of having it be one of those. If he was wrong, she'd reprimand him for not listening, if he was right, well then he'd be right. Scratching the back of his head, John ruffled his dark hair, smoothing it back down as he moved around again in his seat, saying a slow, hesitant. "Yes?"

Weir nodded to herself, Sheppard eased back in his chair. _Quarterback goes long, Sheppard's open, he drills the ball__, there it goes…._

"Very well. Then for the time being, Dr. McKay will take over as mission leader and I'll move you to supervise on another section of the city." She added shortly, leaning back now in her own seat.

John, jerked up. Unable to mask his surprise and utter disgust behind a cool act of steadiness, he exclaimed. "Rodney?!" "Whoa-whoa, hold on one damn second, I did _not_ agree to have Narcissistic McSnotty-Pants head my team, the team _I picked_! What the hell do you think you're doing? He'll, get them all killed while he's nose deep in some ancient, thingy-majig!" Sheppard grew warm, this room was too damn stuffy. _Open a window for Christ sakes Liz----oh wait…you don't have any!_ How could she even think about suggesting, no; ordering that he relieve his command, and to McKay of all people. Though really he couldn't believe he just blew up at her like that.

Elizabeth sighed through her nose, stretching her fingers out slightly as she broke her stare and gazed towards the documents she had been writing earlier. "Then perhaps, you should have been listening to me in the first place Major. When I asked you what you think it takes to be a good leader."

John, was floored. He looked off to the edge of Dr. Weir's desk, processing the fact that he had just been closed-lined in his own game. _…Sheppard fumbles! There's the pick up…OH touchdown! One/nothing for the away team, that's gotta hurt for Sheppard, I don't even think he saw that coming. _

"You, wait---you mean we hadn't just agreed to hand my gig to McKay?"

"Now why would I do that? John you're a competent military man, a strategic thinker. You've proven that. But you force me to wonder sometimes how much you care about the people you're working with. This, isn't some game."

"You don't think I know that?" It was Sheppard's turn to fire some questions. "I take that into consideration every single time I step through that gate. Those people's lives depend on me."

"Those people?" Elizabeth knitted her brows. She shook her head and John could swear there was a mixture of annoyance and disbelief on her face. _What?__ Was it something I said?_ Though she didn't give him enough time to go over the conversation to make a comeback.

"John, having a team is not just people working under you. It's not just waking up everyday and pledging to get the job done. It's actually getting it done. It's about caring for 'those people'."

"Ah, basing all of this on my level of caring? Maybe if I enforced group hugs whenever we make a successful off-world mission you'd feel different." He couldn't help but seep in sarcasm, to John these allegations were absurd, and so he was equally offended. "I mean come on Liz, back on Earth I---"

Weir raised a hand, softly interrupting him, she had a point that she felt very strongly about and nothing short of the roof collapsing on them would stop her from saying it. "But that's just it Major. We're not on Earth anymore. Here there's; a whole new set of rules, some that we're being forced to live by. We're alone out here John, Teyla's people, any other race we come across, it doesn't matter because in the end, it's just us. And we have to _stick together_." She continued without pause.

"Being a leader is more then doing the job you're entitled to. And I know, your history of good deeds and selflessness out merits anyone else here, but that doesn't mean I trust you as being a good leader, that takes a lot more then self-sacrifice. Today for instance, you lied, stole city equipment and supplies that we could possibly need someday, disobeyed direct orders by not getting here on time."

Blinking, John grimaced, not likeing this one bit, not one tiny inch. Was that was she was getting at, the fact that he was all but a little bit late to their 'conference', that seemed highly unlikely to be the true reason, but he had to ask anyway just to be sure. "You're punishing me for being, a _bit_ tardy?"

"What am I supposed to feel Major? I expect more from you and what you've shown me today is that maybe you're not at all ready to command a team. So yes, I didn't exactly request you to step down, but perhaps that's what you should do for a time until you prove to me otherwise."

"Listen, Liz, I, I understand where you're coming from. I know I pulled some stupid childish stuff today, and I should know better, but it was all in fun. Like I'm sure a couple hundred cd's are going to save us from a Wraith attack." Sheppard mused slightly, trying his best to lighten the heavy blow Weir was trying to dish out.

"I'm not saying that John, but you did use them without permission, and for a ridiculous purpose. How am I supposed to trust you with a team when you're out on a balcony shooting firearms and gambling." "There's a time and place for everything Major, right now, we're in a tight spot. There's a whole arm load of problems to deal with out here and I need your help, not your competition. And I feel as though, frankly Major, you just don't respect me."

"When was I competing with you, and I'll have you know right here and now I have more respect--"

Elizabeth spoke over him, she knew he was a very trusting and well-rounded man, she thought he had respected her leadership to the fullest extent though they did bicker from time to time. But that was natural when you put two very stubborn people in league with each other. But, what he had done this time had no excuse, this was not something she could just simply place on the back burner. Not chalk it up to John being John. "Not the point. As of now, I'm revoking your status as commander of the team until I see reason to reinstate you."

"You---you can't do that!" Sheppard stuttered jumping forward and leaping to his feat, glaring down at the woman like her head suddenly sprouted flowers, his bright eyes wide and shining in intensity.

"I just did." Weir sat firm, catching his gaze and instilling just how much she meant this. She was not about to back down and the man's actions today were the final straw. She felt it was high time to test him, though in truth, she really didn't want to.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Sheppard asked hurriedly, trying to calm himself down. He wasn't one for outbursts but now his livelihood in this whole mission was on the line. He thought then about the question he ignored from before, maybe that was what Elizabeth was truly after. Gaining his composure John straighten himself out, speaking clearly and controlled. "I see what this is about, you want me to tell you about the aspects of being, a decent leader. Fine. I'll tell you right here and now---"

"Better yet, write it down for me." Elizabeth collected the documents on her desk and arranged them in a pile, pulling her eyes away from the Major as he tried to act dignified and prideful, this should teach him a good lesson.

Pausing, John's mouth was open, the words seemed to be stuck somewhere up in his head and he simply had to ask if he heard that right. "Huh? You want me to write you an, an essay?"

Elizabeth nodded, glancing back up to him with a genuine smile, her temper slipped away long ago and John hadn't even noticed, too wrapped up in his own musings and now this ludicrous assignment she was giving him. "Yes, on what it takes to be a good leader. I think you'll find you know more and feel deeper then you think you do if you take the time and really concentrate on it. And I'm hoping to see the same. Have it on my desk by tomorrow."

"You're kidding me right?"

"Far from it John, I'm being most serious and in the end a lot more generous then I think anyone else would be." She placed the papers on the corner of her desk and leaned back in her seat, standing up slowly as she came round the desk towards him.

"But, I have other responsibilities, I just can't sit down and rattle off an essay, especially one that could either make or break my duties here. I have stuff to do." John baulked, this had to be some twisted dream, like being at school naked and without his homework, except he would get more in trouble for not having the homework then the actual _naked_ part. Yeah the mind was a weird place, especially his.

"Not anymore John." Weir replied lightly, patting him on the back reassuringly, like this was all _ok_somehow. For the best.

"You're—KIDDING ME right?" John watched her every move as Weir rested the same hand on his upper arm moved them both towards the door. The point seemed so moot that Elizabeth wouldn't even bother to reassure him that she was in fact, very serious.

John found himself escorted from Weir's office by her leaving him outside her door with a finger still raised in exclamation. But in no time the door slid shut, and he, was shut out, mouth hanging open in the middle of the hallway.

"She's got to be joking." Sheppard turned to find a city crewman walking up the hall about to pass him. "She's kidding, you know." John spoke up to the crewman who returned him with an strange, confused look as to what the Major was exactly referring to. Sheppard shook his head, waving the man off as he left in the opposite direction. _How, in the hell, did that get turned around like that? Where did I go wrong?_ Firstly, he lost complete sight of the buttons, a big no-no. Then, he let his guard down and emotionally expressed himself, something that was so not his thing, especially when under the gun. John prided himself on being a collective thinker, keeping calm in the direst situations unless he was really tuned up and even then, he tried to keep it under his control. _Yeah, where went the control John? You played right into her fingers, the fans have gone home and there's a riot in the parking lot! _

As Sheppard walked down the hall, thinking back on what was said and trying to figure out just where it had all gone awry, he grumbled to himself rubbing the back of his neck, slumping his tall frame. "Nuts, absolutely nuts. An essay?"

_I hate writing. I'm no good at it, give me some sticks and conifer branches and I can make a mean lean-to, but pen and paper? That's like asking me to find the square root of a million._

"One thousand." Sheppard answered his own thought in a matter of seconds, smirking slightly. _Alright__, so maybe it wasn't _that_ hard. _But still, it was more the principle of the thing, he wasn't a writer. In fact he barely passed his English classes in college. All those damn rules and symbols, granted math was a lot like that. Though numbers were something that he read easily, they processed smoother._ English, God you put a comma in the wrong place and then your preposition is all fouled up, or maybe it was the conjunction? Oh Hell! Damn I'm screwed. _

"Major, how did it go? Remaining in one piece I see." John stopped short and looked up to find McKay standing before him. Rodney's smile faded as he saw the expression of deep thought and concern on Sheppard's face.

"Not good, eh?" He asked softly, feeling partly to blame for the whole thing, he did go along with it.

John sighed, tensing his face up lightly, seeming very embarrassed at the moment. "A colon, is the one with the little dot with the curved dashy thing under it right?"

McKay stared up at him with a peculiar, half-opened mouth expression, glancing briefly away as he thought about the question a second before answering. "Ah----no, no that's a semicolon, you see the colon has two dots one on top of the other, it denotes a three to four tick pause while the semicolon denotes a two tick pause." Rodney went so far as to motion the little symbol in the air with his pointer finger. He smiled thoughtfully though awkwardly, wondering why exactly the other man had asked him that, and even more thrown off by the color of pink the Major's face was taking. Rodney had never seen him so, uncomfortable.

Sheppard nodded perking his lips. "Yep, I'm screwed." Excepting his fate, Sheppard's mood lightened. "You, Doctor McKay, are looking at a _screwed_ man. And, not in that good, morning after-glow sort of way."

"Pardon?" The physicist asked, still confused and a bit bewildered how the man could be so happy at supposedly being 'screwed'.

"See you later Rodney." John gave him a halfhearted smile and gently pushed passed him. McKay spun round not ready to leave it at that yet, the one question still nagging him. "Why, exactly did you ask me about the rules of punctuation?"

Sheppard turned round min-stride, walking backwards as he raised a hand. "So I know how to fraise: debunked, sent south, and otherwise; revoked of all privileges on my letters of resignation." He nodded, shooting a 'see you later' finger and spinning back, was soon gone from the physicist's sight.

"Oh." McKay narrowed his eyes, looking at the floor as the meaning suddenly kicked him in the collective brainpan. His head shot up, gaze wide. "WHAT?!" However, John was long gone, leaving the physicist to squirm uneasily in the middle of the hallway. What the heck happened in Weir's office? He knew then he had to talk to Elizabeth, find out why exactly Sheppard was resigning, which simply; could not be, and try to talk some sense into Weir before it was too late. Because, Rodney thought as he stormed towards her office, if John was moved out, the most logical member to take his place was him. And that, was certainly a really, really bad idea in McKay's mind. Granted, the notion did intrigue him, if only slightly.

Before Rodney knocked on the door to Elizabeth's office, he realized then just how insane the notion _actually_ was. Him? In charge? Ha!

"She's got to be joking." He said as he waved frantically over the sensor and slid open the door, not waiting for the invitation inside.

* * *

A/N: well by popular request, I continued this one-shot and found myself dipping John in some pretty hot water. Let's hope he's a better writer then he makes himself out to be. Then again, technically it's all up to me. NO PRESSURE, really…yeah, right. ::Cowers down and hopes for the best:: Please review, haha I need the boost for the long arduous trek to the third and final chapter. Btw, took great joy from coming up with Narcissistic McSnotty-Pants. Couldn't you just see Rodney's face if Shep said that to him? Priceless. 


	3. An Ideal

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**Chapter Three:** An Ideal

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Early the next morning, before he made his usual rounds to the mess hall for his third or forth cup of the black beauty known as java, McKay snuck passed Dr. Weir's office. Finding the door open he slipped along the side of the wall, glancing in from the corner of his eye to see if Elizabeth was in. Discovering the room beyond empty, Rodney sighed disappointedly and pushed off from his hiding spot, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the tall chair absent of Weir.

"Rodney?" The voice from behind him, though soft and greeting, nearly scaring the pants off the physicist to make him jump forward, throwing his hands out with a choked, "GNAH!" He whipped round to find Weir standing behind him, her hands resting on her hips. She raised a slow brow, questioning just what he was up to, staring into her office in the middle of the hallway.

Trying to slow his breathing down and clam his rampant heart, McKay placed a hand on his chest and let out a long slow breath before giving his boss a hesitant smile. "Morning Elizabeth." Rodney managed to stammer after a moment, regaining control over his near shattered nerves. "You know, not to challenge your authority or anything, but, you really shouldn't sneak up on people like that. Especially me. Unless you're looking for another leading astrophysicist." He remarked coyly, finding himself all too clever as Weir remarked with a formal smile in return.

"If this is about Major Sheppard, Rodney, I told you yesterday, after, I might add, you burst into my office."

"Yeah." McKay winced, rubbing the back of his neck as averted his eyes. "Sorry about that."

"Regardless." She continued as McKay moved himself, offering her to enter her own office with a raised hand before he followed closely behind. "John's been called into question by myself on a number of occasions, I simply need verification that I made the right choice."

McKay stopped in the middle of her office, watching as Elizabeth slipped passed her desk and sat down, looking over the various papers before shifting her attention back up to him. His expression at the moment was cynical, not uncommon, but this time he had good reason. "You're saying this like it's some botched business deal, this is Sheppard we're talking about here."

"I understand that Rodney, I feel just as strongly about this as you do, though I can't simply put all the blame solely on the Major's shoulders, He, should have known better. " She said finally, giving the physicist the touch of a reprimanding eye, meaning that he owned a small piece of this problem as well.

McKay, about to reply, stopped himself and quickly pulled back one of her office chairs, sitting himself down. "It was just, stupid fun. Which for me, is a real loose term but you can't fire the guy for trying to kill some time."

She paused then while organizing the documents and reports that were now cluttering her workspace from post-incoming gate teams, mostly John's it might be added. All humor lost in her tone, the gentleness that greeted him that morning washed away. "By recklessly stealing government owned equipment and shooting it off a balcony in the middle of the ocean?"

He glanced down, staring at his knees, unsure of how to respond to what was in all truth, a correct assumption of yesterday's goings on. However, Rodney himself had played part in it; he was just as guilty. Swallowing slowly, and wishing then that he had just minded his own business and continued on to the mess-hall like he previously planned, McKay began to speak, sounding rasher then he'd meant it to come out. " It's not that we needed those things anyway, and besides you'd be pleased to find I actually found some use to one of the kajillion pieces of alien technology in this---"

Rodney stopped mid-sentence, finding that Weir wasn't exactly listing to him, but that wasn't exactly something that was new nor overly insulting to him now these days. She was instead, looking down at a folded piece of white-lined paper that was under a few of the jumbled folders and documents.

Neatly creased, the letter had a yellow post-it note stuck on top with something written in black permanent marker. McKay shifted forward in his seat, tilting his chin up as he nonchalantly glanced down at the small note, reading thusly:

_Dr. Weir—_

_Hope this makes for good reading._

_--John_

"Is—is that it?" McKay asked slowly, raising a finger and pointing towards the folded letter. He couldn't contain his curiosity, amazed that the Major had actually, on Elizabeth's request, taken the day and written her an essay. At least what Rodney assumed was the paper she made him write, it could have been his resignation letter for all he knew. A sudden pull knotted itself in McKay's stomach as Weir pulled the yellow post-it off and unfolded the letter. He watched as her eyes darted back and forth slowly, studying the words briefly.

She nodded afterwards, still holding on to the letter with a puzzled, almost lost look on her face.

"Well? Are you going to read it or not?" Rodney asked, growing impatient with anxiety. This tension was killing him and four straight shots of pure caffeine to his nerves system just recently wasn't helping.

"Can—can I see that---" He frowned gently pulling the letter out of Weir's fingers with more of a statement then a request. Weir though, didn't fight him on it. McKay wondered if she was that thrown off by what the letter said. He stood back up, facing sideways to her as he gave a quick glance over its contents. Clearing his throat, and taking a precautionary look towards the door to make sure no one was nearby and especially not the Sheppard himself, Rodney began to read the note.

"I think I remember in college these things always began with a thesis statement introducing the main topic of discussion. But since that topic is whether or not I deserve this job I think we can skip the intro and get right into the meat, wouldn't you agree? Why put this off any longer then I already have?

I ain't no Jack London, so if this sounds at all weird, blame it on years and years of head trauma from contact sports. See, I've even started that sentence out with a double negative. So where do I begin in the testament to why I'm a good leader? Perhaps it's not what I can say about myself, but what I can say about my fellow gate jumpers here in Atlantis, their actions speak louder I think, then any great thinker I can quote." McKay paused, inhaling deeply as he began to absentmindedly pace the room, while Weir watched him, listening intently to John's words coming out of the physicist's mouth, smiling thoughtfully at times.

"First there's Ford. I know he's young, but I've never met a person more enthusiastic about venturing out in the middle of nowhere and facing a more then possible, painful and cruel death with such a charismatic attitude. He lives for this stuff Weir, and I can't think of anyone else I'd want on my right hand side then Aiden. I haven't known him that long, but I'm quickly coming to understand just how much this all means to him, and how much we all mean to him. I'm telling you Liz, you should have seen him yesterday. I think just getting away from the perpetual exploration we tend to do on a now, on a day to day basis here just for a little while is something. Granted, nothing wrong with our little stints into the unknown, but it even wears on me sometimes. I'd never seen him so happy as when I, and yes, I admit this, quilted him into that bet with me, he loves just hanging around. And that's healthy, we should do it more often. Group hugs for all, I'm sure Dr. Beckett would agree." To this, Rodney gave his boss a strange look, briefly contemplating exactly what Sheppard meant by 'group hugs' and if he was serious or not.

He continued then. "Then there's Teyla, and what could I say about her that you don't already know yourself. I'm amazed at how excited she gets, visiting new places, talking with people, she's so eager to learn everything there is about our culture, even when eight-two percent of it goes over her head. Perhaps I'm just bad at explaining the fine intricacies of a hot dog or how a mint condition roadster can get my blood boiling in ways no one else can. She's learning day by day just as much as we are, and yet; even with leaving her people behind to stay with us, she never once; complained about it. Hell I had to flip a coin to get me here, if that doesn't say a lot, I don't know what does."

Elizabeth held her breath, turning her eyes down towards her desk, trying to put herself in the Major's shoes at that moment. She remembered then just how hard it was leaving that video message for Simon.

Rodney cleared his throat again, finding himself more the parched, but continuing none the less, more hurriedly when he spotted his own name in the letter.

"Though speaking about complainers, I guess that finally leaves me with McKay. I know it seems like we bicker more then what's considered humanly possible, even by my standards; I must say, though I'll never admit it anywhere else but here, and I swear Liz you better not let him read this. "Rodney stopped there, giving her an awkward 'whoops' sort of smile before going on. "McKay, I've come to know in this short time---" He paused there, the written words seemed to be caught up in McKay's throat as he read the sentence over again silently, unbelieving what he was reading to be actually there.

With a shaken voice, he went on, "---is an amazing man. Even though he spews more tech-logic then I can take sometimes, he's always on the ball with some snotty remark to undermine me, and I think that whole, allergy to citrus is just a sympathy con, I know it's all only because he really gives a damn about what we're doing here. More then his own health sometimes, I think Beckett would agree to that one too. He's a-----remarkable guy, and I wouldn't say this if it wasn't the truth but honestly---"

He felt so ashamed then for reading this when it was for Weir's eyes only, especially with what the Major had written next, something he didn't think she knew, and McKay himself _especially_ had no idea. "----Rodney was the first person I chose to be on my team. His knowledge and adroit approach to things, astounds me sometimes, I don't think I would be able to do this job, without him."

Taking his seat once more, Rodney looked up to Elizabeth catching her equally thunderstruck gaze, the physicist himself looked flushed and at a lost for words. So, he rose the note up again, and continued with John's instead. "It's not all heroics that makes you a good leader, it's the people who look to you that makes you what you are, it's the people you depend on, to see the mission through that makes one man greater then the next. Because without teamwork, what can we really accomplish? I think I will slap a quote in here, something McKay once said, most likely yelling it at me mind you. That an ideal is not based on its singular actions, but the sum of its parts." He flushed further, not believing that Sheppard had actually listened to him when he said that so long ago, and more so, bothered to remember it. And, he was screaming at him at the time, something about John not understanding the way the scientific world worked. Rodney regretted it now.

"What I'm trying to say Dr. Weir is that, I don't think I'm a good leader, I _know_ I am. And not because I'm great with the strategies, or weaponry, can pinpoint scenarios and over come the worse when it rears its all too ugly head. It's not about whether or not I'd give my life up for these guys at the drop of the dime, because more then likely I'd do it before you even let the coin go. It's because, these guys, these people as I call them, make me wake up everyday and think 'you know what, we can do this, we can survive here millions of light years from everything we're now taking for granted. Like hotdogs and sports cars.

Because, that's all we got, and I know it sounds corny, but you're right, in the end, in this universe of life-sucking ghoulies, malfunctioning equipment, and races that want to kick our collective asses; we only have each other. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Gulping back the feeling of being overcome, McKay read on. "In Conclusion, because that's what you usually put at the end of these things, you picked me to do this Liz, just like I picked my team, because I trust in them just as much as I trust in you. I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but it's only stress. I only do it because otherwise some days I want to scream and start up that gate and give that giant puddle the bird before I get hit by that blue flush.

So if it takes some off days, some unnecessary guy stuff and a bit of theft to keep us all together; to bring us closer, and to keep the team working like one, well-oiled ideal; then so be it. Because deep down, without all the clever crap I say when I'm trying to look cool or the hard-ass extremes I push on these guys; strip it away and I'm just a guy in love with his job. Even one that forces me to use semicolons." A brief and pleasantly remembered conversation passed over Rodney's mind, again the Major had listened to him. There was one last line to go, ending John's essay to Weir simply and as eloquently as Sheppard could have ever put it. This line, McKay said slowly, poignantly as he could with a lump growing in his throat before he lowered the letter into his lap.

And that, Dr. Weir, makes me a good leader." Licking his lips, Rodney carefully folded up the letter and handed it to Elizabeth who took the note and looked down to it, speechless at the moment.

----

John made his way down the hall in the direction of Weir's office, wondering just what she was thinking now. He had left his little report on her desk sometime that morning, only a few hours after he had finished. Sheppard had spent all night writing it and rewriting it until he nearly gave up. Then suddenly he came upon a small concept that had been trying to drag itself out all along, and he feverously wrote the whole essay out in one unending rant. Finding that the truth, seemed to answer the question best.

He was slightly startled to find McKay exiting the doorway of Elizabeth's office, a strange sort of smile on his face as he turned, walking in John's general direction. Rodney glanced up, startled himself as his grin turned into a full on, unabashed and knowing smile. John knitted his brows, coming up to the physicist with a concerned frown. "And what are you so happy about this morning?"

Rodney snorted a short laugh and quickly shrugged his shoulders, glancing away briefly. "Oh, just glad to be the first one to welcome you back." Finishing with a pleasantly goofy expression, McKay gently swept passed the Major, even his steps seemed lighter that day.

John tensed up his face, perking his lips out, mid-confused reply, he spoke slowly trying to comprehend it all. It was just too damn early for McKay's mind games. "Where, exactly am I coming back from?" He asked after Rodney's back.

The man stopped short, turning back as he stepped a few paces towards John. "Why, your resignation of course."

Sheppard quirked his brows up, even his head slightly pulled back. "So she liked it?"

McKay nodded, his smile broadening as he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. "You, could say that." And with that he turned away, only to halt a few feet down the hall and spun back round again, adding. "Oh and John----I'm honored to be the first part, of your grand ideal. Thank you."

John's eyes widened, hearing a statement most familiar to him spoken by none other then the man that was most certainly not supposed to know of it, considering he said it in the first place. _She didn't---_Sheppard's mind raced, considering the possibilities, Rodney did, just leave her office. _Who you trying to kid John, she so did. _The Major scowled then, calling after McKay's fleeting image making sure he was shouting loud enough for the man to hear him. "You're welcome. Yeah!, I'll send you a nice fruit basket filled with oranges!"

As he turned round, Sheppard found that the woman in question was standing by her office doorway, leaning on the frame. She couldn't seem to hide the amused grin on her face. John walked up to her, noticing she was also holding his letter. He glared down at it then to her, pointing. "You know, I specifically noted that he couldn't read that!"

Weir laughed, the kind that brightened her face so nicely that it made John's anger melt away as quickly as it came. He was actually happy to see her not so bloodthirsty after him, even if it was at his own expense. So, McKay knew that John considered him an asset to his team, he supposed it might be a good motivator for the man. _Oh it's gonna take a whole year's load of jokes, jabs, and pranks to fix this. _Sheppard thought sadly.

"I think a lot of people have a right to see this letter Major, it's very, inspirational." Elizabeth said finally, seeing a slow and subtle range of emotions cross John's face in a brief moment before he turned his light gaze back to her.

He smiled then, boyishly. "So, not bad huh? I mean we're not talking Pulitzer here, but I have to say that's one of the best essays I've written since high school. That's grade-A John Sheppard there."

Weir simply smiled before she toned down and gave him a gentle reprimand. "It still doesn't excuse your behavior, but, it does explain it. Sometimes, with everything, even I forget our individual needs. I'm so wrapped up sometimes in the running this place, I sometimes forget just who exactly runs it. It's our team Major, these, people."

"So." Sheppard cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets as he leaned back up on his toes before smoothly rolling onto his heels. "It's our team now? I guess this means I'm back on the job, huh?"

Weir nodded, clutching the note close to her, as she gave him a patient look, knowing that in truth everyone here needed time to adjust. "Yes Major, I'm reinstating you. But, don't think this is a temporary lenient period. I'll be watching you." Elizabeth then narrowed her eyes playfully. "Make sure you don't, get off topic, of your thesis."

John laughed brusquely, nodding as he backed up, slightly raising his hands in defense. " Sounds fair to me boss." He gave her a handsome wink and was about to walk down the hall when he paused, raising a thumb to point in the opposite direction, adding casually. "You know, I was about to head down to the mess-hall for breakfast----"

"Is that an invitation Major?" Weir asked quaintly, moving away from her office doorway as she waved a hand over the sensor to shut it.

John perked up his lips turning around in the hall towards the direction of the cafeteria, shrugging. "Well, I'm just saying, if you wanted to get some coffee before McKay drinks it all." He would never admit to a point-blank offer, especially to the one in command, but yeah, he meant it all the same.

Elizabeth laughed lightly, moving up along side of John as they both walked down the corridor together. "That sounds, fair."

The Major chuckled himself, imagining Rodney making a beeline for the kitchens as if sensing his precious perk-me-up juice was in danger. "I'm sure we can snag one cup away from him, I'll even get a trank-gun from the armory." John mused, making Weir burst out in a fit of laughter, so much so she had to cover her mouth.

She calmed herself down enough to give him a slightly displeased eye. "Now John, that's mean."

"What? It's true and you know it. And, if you don't believe me, how's about we put a little money down on it? Say twenty bucks?" Sheppard asked slyly as they rounded a corner and were soon gone.

* * *

The End

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A/N: Ah, a fitting ending to this story, much were it started. I found that after writing this originally as a one shot, I wanted to delve more into John's character then slaving him with clever comebacks. I came out with this. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to all those who reviewed!


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